Unacceptable "Import" Draught Beer List

Dear Every Restaurant Ever: Just because it has the word "Irish" in it does NOT mean Killian's Irish Red is an import. It is, in fact, a shitty product of the US of A.

Unacceptable GPS Directions

The spoken directions that went along with the picture on the screen were, "Slight Right Turn." How the fuck is that a right turn?  Notice the large yellowish/orange arrow on the map. Also notice the small yellowish/orange arrow in the lower left corner that demonstrates what sort of turn is about to be encountered. Unacceptable.

Unacceptable Error Message

My friend, Bela Jacobson, received this extremely helpful error message while using AutoCAD at work.  Completely unacceptable.

Unacceptable Elevator Button Labels

I found this little triumph in a hotel in Orlando a few years back.

Unacceptable Use of the English Language

1. Pronoun - Antecedent Agreement:  If life had provided a single lemon, "it" would be squeezed.

2. Apostrophe: someone's

3. Idiocy: hall ~= haul

Unacceptable.  Thanks to Betsy White for this one.

Unacceptable LOLdog

There are no fewer than five pieces on incorrect squares in this picture.  It is not unreasonable to expect that there are an additional seven errant pieces that we can't see.  At least the board is rotated correctly.  Unacceptable.

Unacceptable Cable TV Service

Gina and I were ready to watch the Daily Show.  Which channel happened to be screwed up?  You guessed it.  Unacceptable.

Unacceptable Museum Ad

Really?  A football helmet on one of the Terracotta Warriors?  Wow.

Unacceptable Furniture Sale

Thanks to Gina Helfrich for this one.  There are several layers of funniness here.  First of all, who wants to buy a chair swing without the chains?  Unacceptable.  More importantly though, notice the little blue sticker: 50% off.  Yes, indeed.  This furniture is in fact 50% off.   Acceptable.

Unacceptable Pours

Every summer, Atlanta has a Bierfest downtown.  Unfortunately, some of the people serving the beer have apparently never learned how to pour one properly.  Unacceptable.  The unhappy gentlemen in the pictures are your author, Jan Wafflehouse, Chris Morgan and Jimmy Grimes.

Acceptable Explanation for Child's Drawing

A first grade girl handed in the drawing below for a homework assignment. After it was graded and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day with the following note:

Dear Ms. Davis,

I want to be very clear on my child’s illustration. It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint. I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm. This photo is of me selling a shovel.

Mrs. Harrington

From Always Check Your Child’s Homework Before it Gets Turned In

Unacceptable Mugshot for Unacceptable Douch-i-ness

From WOFL-TV:

VOLUSIA COUNTY, Fla. (WOFL FOX 35, Orlando) -- A 19-year-old Deltona man is arrested for assaulting his own mother, with a taco. Dena Moir tells Fox 35 News her son, Zachary Moir, got out of control Wednesday night when she was calling him down for dinner. When he refused to stop playing his X-box and come down for dinner, Dena Moir says she went upstairs and unplugged the game, that's when she says Zachary pushed her and called her a bad name. "I've been having trouble with him for awhile won't work, wont' go to school. He's being rude and disrespectful. Pushing things to the limit as far as the violence.”

A few minutes later Dena says she was in the kitchen cleaning and cooking tacos for dinner when Zachary showed up. That's when she says he slapped her arm and threw a taco in her face. “He went ahead and hit me with the taco and I got taco all over my shirt and kitchen. I’ve threatened to call police before. But anyway this time, I thought he went too far so I called police and he's in jail now.”

Dena Moir called cops and said she wants to press charges. Moir says Zachary has tried to call several times, but she's not picking up the phone yet. She says she's going to let him sit in his jail cell in Volusia County for a few days to teach him a lesson.

Unacceptable Mathematics Effort

Because I would rather spend time on my research, I tried outsourcing some of my homework. I wrote the problem on one of the whiteboards in the office.  The "help" I got from my lab mates was suboptimal (see above).  It seems that not even beer is a strong enough motivation for tackling nonlinear hyperbolic partial differential equations.

More unacceptable pet behavior...

The cat on the table IS unacceptable...but even more unacceptable is his facial expression that seems to be saying..."You ARE going to feed me BEFORE you have your coffee and read the paper....correct?"

Unacceptable breakfast food

This is "bee bacon"...totally unacceptable for breakfast. How the dead bumblebee got there is another story...

Acceptable Graffiti

Ahhh, Ze Germans.  So genius!  This is the most creative graffiti I've ever seen.  Subway goers in Berlin have started pasting large screenshots of photoshop interfaces on top of ads.  Subtle, yet effective.  And most definitely acceptable!  A sample is shown above.

Acceptable Explanation of Unacceptable Parking

I wonder sometimes how many of the unacceptable parking jobs I see are made possible by people like this: 

Acceptable Video

...bladow!  Check the simile.

Unacceptable Job Kiosk Interface

Publix employees have to be able to do IT tasks before they can even apply.

Unacceptable Nissan Parked Unacceptably

The car isn't even that nice.  This one was spotted at the Chinese Buddha on 10th St in Atlanta.

Unacceptable Password Security

Source

<Cthon98> hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars
<Cthon98> ********* see!
<AzureDiamond> hunter2
<AzureDiamond> doesnt look like stars to me
<Cthon98> <AzureDiamond> *******
<Cthon98> thats what I see
<AzureDiamond> oh, really?
<Cthon98> Absolutely
<AzureDiamond> you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2
<AzureDiamond> haha, does that look funny to you?
<Cthon98> lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that
<Cthon98> yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> awesome!
<AzureDiamond> wait, how do you know my pw?
<Cthon98> er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw
<AzureDiamond> oh, ok.

Acceptable Enthusiasm for a Wii

WARNING: Turn down your speakers.

Unacceptable Bathroom Graffiti Spelling

This picture comes courtesy of Ayshe Tanyel.  Apparently someone using the bathroom at Art Bar in Columbia, SC doesn't know how to spell "douche."  Perhaps they meant Deutsch Bags?

Acceptable List of Unacceptable Words

Lake Superior State University issued their 34th annual List of Words to Be Banished from the Queen's English for Mis-use, Over-use and General Uselessness. Notable selections include:
green
going green
maverick
game changer
staycation
bailout
Wall Street to Main Street

You can see the full list here:
http://www.lssu.edu/banished/current.php

Cheers to the new year!

Completely Unacceptable